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24

Jack Bauer: "The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you."

Battlestar Galactica

Commander Adama: "I gave the order, Son. It was my responsibility."
Captain Adama: "I pulled the trigger. That's mine."

Dexter

Dexter: "No blood... no sticky, hot, messy, awful blood, no blood at all! Why hadn't I thought of that? No blood, what a beautiful idea."

Doctor Who (2005)

The Doctor: "Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do then I should warn you, you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past; Aliens from the future; the day the Earth died in a ball of flame; It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: the trip of a lifetime."

Eureka

Henry Deacon: [to arguing Carter and Col. Briggs] "I hate to interrupt, but we have bigger issues at hand. Time is unraveling. The laws of physics are breaking down. Correct me if I'm wrong but that's the kind of thing that's not gonna stop at the city limits, is it?"

Grey's Anatomy

Dr. Meredith Grey: "We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?"

Heroes

Hiro Nakamura: "Save the cheerleader, save the world."

Jericho

Cell Leader: "Take a look around you, gentlemen. (pause) These are the faces of the men that will change the world."

Lost

Danielle Rousseau: "You've only got three choices: run, hide... or die."

Nip/Tuck

Christian: "Can I buy you a drink?"
Kimberly: "I don't drink."
Christian: "May I buy you an appetizer?"
Kimberly: "I don't eat. I'm a model."

Prison Break

Michael to Lincoln: "I'm not here on vacation, trust me."

Scrubs

Dr. Cox: "Who're you?"
Janitor: "Just a man with a saw."

Stargate Atlantis

Dr. Rodney McKay: "I'm sorry. It's just... I react to certain doom in a certain way. It's a bad habit."

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Sarah: "Where are we?"
Cameron: "Same where...different when."

America's Next Top Model

Jaslene: "I'm not your girl next door, but I'm your girl next...down the block in your hood!"

American Dad!

Roger the Alien: "God! Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay?"

Bones

Dr. Temperance Brennan: "Don't call me Bones."

CSI

Gil Grissom: "There is always a clue."

CSI: Miami

Horatio Caine: "The only thing that matters is the evidence."

CSI: NY

Det. Mac Taylor: "Use your head, Stella, not your heart."

Desperate Housewives

Julie: "When was the last time you had sex?"
[Susan stops what she is doing]
Julie: "Are you mad that I asked?"
Susan: "No, I'm just trying to remember."

ER

Dr. Susan Lewis: "Students wanna be residents... residents wanna be attendings..."
Dr. John Carter: "And attendings just wanna be left alone."

Everybody Hates Chris

Greg to Chris about girls: "Dude you are so in there!"

Family Guy

Stewie Griffin: "Damn you, vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb."

House

Dr. House: "Nobel invented dynamite. I won't accept his blood money."

My Name Is Earl

Joy: "I want half that lotto money, Earl."
Earl: "Yeah? Well, I wanted a legitimate baby and a wife who didn't huff paint on Thanksgiving, but I guess life's full of little disappointments, now ain't it?"

NCIS

Agent Caitlin Todd: "Do people react that way because we're NCIS, or do you just have that effect on them?"
Gibbs: "I'd like to think it's me."

NUMB3RS

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: "You know that it's considered unsolvable?"
Charlie Eppes: "Well, certainly people who have failed to solve it might think that."

One Tree Hill

Peyton: "I heard you were naked in his car."
Brooke: "No, I was partially naked. At one point I had mittens on cause it was cold."

Smallville

Lex Luthor: "How did you manage to break in there without anyone catching you?"
Clark Kent: "Just lucky I guess."
Lex Luthor: "Well you are the luckiest person I know. Let's hope it doesn't run out by tomorrow. "

South Park

Stan: "Oh my god! They killed Kenny."

Supernatural

Dean: "Ya' know she could be faking."
Sam: "Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick?"
[Dean nods]
Sam: "Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick!"

The Apprentice

Donald Trump: "You're Fired."

The Biggest Loser

Dr. Ian Smith: "How did you get down to 200?"
Dustin: "I've been taking Zantrex 3."

The Daily Show

Announcer: "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: where more Americans get their news than probably should."

The Office (US)

Michael Scott: "I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish, sort of a virtual United Nations."

Weeds

Andy Botwin: "How can you be so blindly pro-Bush?"
Doug Wilson: "I like his wife Laura... I used to buy weed from her at SMU."

Alias

Marshall: "Syd, this guy buried you alive."
Sydney: "Yeah, but he cheated, he hit me with a car first!"

Angela's Eyes

Angela: "The truth isn't always black and white... but it does tend to surface sooner or later."

Arrested Development

Narrator: "Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together."

Crossing Jordan

Jordan to Garret: "It's like you always tell me. The dead bodies are easy. It's the alive ones that get more complicated."

Invasion

Underlay to Russell: "You think we're descended from the three guys sitting in the cave sharing their buffalo? We're descended from the fourth guy that says, "hey, why don't I pick up this club and smack these other losers round the head and have the whole buffalo to myself?" That's our ancestor, that's survival. Survival is what it's all about!"

Joey

Joey: "They canceled my show! People thought it was disgusting. Jeez, you defecate on one corpse..."

Rome

Lucius Vorenus: "Do you think of nothing but women?"
Titus Pullo: "What else is there?"
[he thinks]
Titus Pullo: "Food, I s'pose."

Stargate SG-1

Hu'rak: "No matter what you have endured, you've never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of."
Jack O'Neill: "You ended that sentence with a preposition, bastard."

Surface

Miles: "There's something in the water."

The 4400

Shawn Farrell: "Me and 4,399 of my closest friends popped out of a ball of light right about here."

The O.C.

Hailey Nichol to Julie: "You see, Jeffrey here might be a stripper, but honey, you're a whore."

Thief

Andre Braugher: "It may be insubstantial and soon melt away or it may be the beginning of something significant. My hopes are that it's the beginning of something significant."

Veronica Mars

Veronica: "It's all fun and games till one of you gets my foot up your ass."

Will & Grace

Karen: "You know what else is sad? Poor people who have dreams."
[pause]
Karen: "Well that's not sad as much as it is extremely funny."